In the spirit of Valentine's Day

So, after a very nice night out with my husband, I have come home and decided to get nice and intimate... with my laptop and 100 emailed student essays. :-)

Reading student essays can be... maddening. (Did you think I was going to say inspiring, hopeful, encouraging, edifying, or something like that? It can be those things too, but by paper 25, it is usually just maddening.) This is particularly true when they make grammar mistakes that just don't make any sense. I just read a paper in which she used no commas whatsoever, but she somehow put apostrophes in the strangest places. In quoting a journalist she writes," 'quote quote quote yada yada yada,' say's Sam Allis." Huh? Why does that get an apostrophe? Then she said, "The opportunity to go on this field trip make's me think..." Again- why?

So, in trying to be humorous, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I wrote her this note:
As far as grammar goes, I think you are a little apostrophe happy and a little comma shy. Meet my friend comma. He is a very nice punctuation mark, whom I believe you could have a great relationship with. Spending too much time with a punctuation mark like apostrophe cannot possibly be good for you. (See comments in the attached file for specific places).

Am I dork? If you were a student, would you think I was cute or crazy?