Confessions....

Confessions about My Life at the Present....
(Things you may not know about me.... and probably never wanted to)

1. I love directing, but I really, really, really miss acting. I  am sometimes secretly bitter that my life as wife, mom, and teacher keeps me from acting.
2. I have no fear of public speaking, but I get incredibly nervous about auditions. Sometimes I think saying my life is too busy to act, or that I am too pregnant to act, or whatever my reason may be at any given time,  are really just excuses so that I don't have to think about auditioning, because it hurts so bad when I don't get it. 
3. I secretly love to watch trashy, poorly directed, poorly written, teenager-focused shows like Secret Life of the American Teenager. 
4. I often (like weekly) wish I had grown up in the America of the 1960s. I feel like I was meant to be a flowy-skirt-wearing, flower flinging, guitar playing, hitchhiking-across-the-country, child of the free love era.
5. When I saw the Passion Play, I was deeply touched by the song "Where Hope is Still Alive," and then sinfully envious of the fact that I could never, with any amount of training, sing like that. 
6. I have a possibly unhealthy obsession with the beach and all things beach related, particularly beach-style clothing like sundresses and flip flops. I even convinced my committee at school today to do a beach theme for the summer retreat (3 days of professional development when we return for the Fall semester). Yup- that was my idea. My motivation was sort of just to have an excuse to wear flip flops and a sundress to work that week, and sort of to just keep thinking about the beach. What can I say? The sand, sun, and waves release endorphins in my soul like nothing else. It is somewhat spiritual, somewhat... well... erotic.
7. I find great joy in thinking about how popular my husband was in high school... especially with the ladies. I mean honestly, I think like every girl that knew him in high school either dated him or wished she did. It doesn't even matter that I wasn't popular. I really find a great amount of pleasure in thinking that I won this prize of a husband.... Seriously, how did I pull that off?
8. It took me a long time to get over that Vinny's desire to having nothing but peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because I hate peanut butter so much that I hate making the sandwiches because I fear he thought of getting peanut butter on my fingers. 
9. I am a little bit of an insomniac, and I hate having dreams. I know everybody has them, but I hate when they are memorable at all. Even if they aren't bad, they are usually weird, and I hate them. 
10. I've always known I was a slightly nutty kid, but I never knew what was wrong with me. Several years ago, I accidentally came across some information about sensory processing disorders and realized that I have tactile defensiveness. It was oddly eye opening to discover. Everything I find on the internet about it is about children, because much of it gets outgrown, and I will admit I outgrew a lot of it, but I still have trouble with a lot of clothing and other weird stuff like blankets and bedsheets. I can only wear t-shirts if they are at least a couple sizes too big. I often feel like there is no one at all who understands what it is like to be me because even just putting on certain clothes makes me feel like I am going to just jump out of my skin.