I hate the fighting that happens because both our families are close and both our families want to see us. I am incredibly thankful for the fact that we are surrounded by people who love us and want to be with us. It is hard to be frustrated with that... but I hate the fighting, stress, and tension it causes.
And although I kind of like Christmas decorations, I kind of hate decorating. (It's the ING). The process is just exhausting. Vinny wants a Christmas tree like... NOW. We never get one this early, but the funny thing is we were debating on not getting one at all this year. Tiana is into EVERYTHING, and the only place we could really put a tree is our living room, which is our "Tiana Safe Zone." I suggested we get a superyard and surround the tree. If we get a smaller tree and put it on top of a pedestal with a tree skirt, then we will still be able to see the whole thing and decorate it and put the presents ( and plugs) within the superyard gate. But the gate costs like $50, so that plus the tree and everything... this is getting costly sounding, which we cannot afford right now.
It is for this same reasons that I do NOT like Christmas shopping. We can never buy everything we want for everyone we want, and I hate the feeling of guilt of not having a gift for someone we probably should have a gift for. I even doorbusted for the very first time ever this year. Marc has done it a couple of times (oddly, for things for himself- not gifts), but I have never done it. Yet, there I was at midnight at Target, trying to save a mass amount on the drum set my son wants for Christmas. It was a big item I did not think we could afford, but at Black Friday prices we could, so I did. My mom commented that Vinny also wants a bike, but two big items will just not be happening. We are trying to get financially stable this year, and Christmas feels like a big looming black cloud, getting ready to rain on the rays of slight financial stability rising on our horizon.
I know a lot of people can join with me in knowing what this feels like, particularly if you choose not to overspend every Christmas, yet some of you right now are probably thinking about commenting that Christmas isn't about presents, remember the reason for the season, yadda yadda yadda. Yes, I know. But society has made it about other things. Family. Gifts. Lights. Parties. Etc. Things that cost money and sadly cause stress. And THAT I do not like.