The Author

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I am a high school English teacher, and mother of two charming little ones of my own. I teach in a high poverty urban charter school, while I live in a typical American suburb that has frequently been rated one of the safest cities in the country. It is a paradox I struggle with constantly, but it is my life.

Thursday, March 8, 2012


So, I haven't blogged in a while because I basically don't feel like doing anything. I am so stressed I could scream. Both of my midterms are due next week. I was feeling pretty good about both of them, but we did this activity in class tonight that I think was supposed to provide us feedback to help us improve. I gained two things from this activity:
#1) The knowledge that peer response is often a terrible idea.
#2) A complete lack of confidence in my research proposal and my paper.

The paper is supposed to be 4-6 pages, not including samples. Mine, with samples, is 9 pages long; however, the samples only take up about a page and a half.  I know it is too long. I am generally good at writing a lot and then trimming it back to what is important. This is just sort of how I work. The first comment said "too wordy, too lengthy."  Halfway down the list of comments there was a comment that said, "lacks much needed detail."  What the heck?  I am going to take a mental break from my research proposal until Saturday and then force myself to look at it again with some fresh eyes.

Vinny has a mock track meet this weekend, which I guess basically means that his team is hosting a meet just for themselves. Everything with this whole stupid track thing has been way more complicated than it should be. I don't understand any of the lingo, there is little guidance, and it is just way over involved. I don't like youth sports.

I've had 16 hour days both yesterday and today. Yesterday, it was work, parent conferences, and then a field trip with my drama students. Today, it was work, parent conferences, and then CSUN. Parent conferences are mentally draining. Even the students who are doing well sometimes have very draining conferences. I guess they are doing well for a reason. It is also particularly frustrating to attempt to do a conference in Spanish. My Spanish is terrible. It is a very frustrating experience to feel misunderstood. (I guess that's how my students feel sometimes). It is an equally frustrating experience to ask a student to explain to his/her parents why s/he is failing.  And they ALL want to talk to the English teacher. I watch my colleagues chat with each other and stuff, while I work my way steadily through the line of parents. Sigh. I need to just bite the bullet and do a summer language institute some time.

I feel like I am going to have an anxiety attack. I was doing so well last week. What the heck happened?

Speaking of anxiety... I attempted to make an appointment with my doctor to get some anxiety medication for the flight to China. I sat on the phone (waiting to make an appointment) for 45 minutes. Boy is there some irony in that. As if I really needed to spend my prep on the phone. I ran around school and got my lunch and made my copies and everything all on the phone. I ran into a very important administrator, so I hung up.

I have seen my kids a total of like 10 minutes since Tuesday night. I feel like I've been out of town or something, except for the painfully short few moments of cuddling I shared with Tiana this morning. That got me through my day.

I forgot to ship something that I sold on Amazon.

I worked really hard making the yearbook collage page for Vinny's class on Tuesday night (it was due last week but I asked for an extension to tomorrow), but just found out today that I missed a kid. As tired as I was when I got home tonight, I figured out how to add the kid in there and sent it off. I am having trouble keeping up with all the things on my plate. My tire light is on. I don't know why. I honestly don't know how to check the pressure in my own tires. I have been shown several times but don't think I could really fix it myself.


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