Here come the holidays...

I love and hate the holidays all at the same time. I love Christmas lights and music. I love spending time with my family and baking. I love seeing my children light up over things like visiting Santa or seeing Snoopy on Ice.

I hate the fighting that happens because both our families are close and both our families want to see us. I am incredibly thankful for the fact that we are surrounded by people who love us and want to be with us. It is hard to be frustrated with that... but I hate the fighting, stress, and tension it causes. 

And although I kind of like Christmas decorations, I kind of hate decorating. (It's the ING). The process is just exhausting. Vinny wants a Christmas tree like... NOW. We never get one this early, but the funny thing is we were debating on not getting one at all this year. Tiana is into EVERYTHING, and the only place we could really put a tree is our living room, which is our "Tiana Safe Zone." I suggested we get a superyard and surround the tree. If we get a smaller tree and put it on top of a pedestal with a tree skirt, then we will still be able to see the whole thing and decorate it and put the presents ( and plugs) within the superyard gate. But the gate costs like $50, so that plus the tree and everything... this is getting costly sounding, which we cannot afford right now.

It is for this same reasons that I do NOT like Christmas shopping. We can never buy everything we want for everyone we want, and I hate the feeling of guilt of not having a gift for someone we probably should have a gift for. I even doorbusted for the very first time ever this year. Marc has done it a couple of times (oddly, for things for himself- not gifts), but I have never done it. Yet, there I was at midnight at Target, trying to save a mass amount on the drum set my son wants for Christmas. It was a big item I did not think we could afford, but at Black Friday prices we could, so I did. My mom commented that Vinny also wants a bike, but two big items will just not be happening. We are trying to get financially stable this year, and Christmas feels like a big looming black cloud, getting ready to rain on the rays of slight financial stability rising on our horizon. 

I know a lot of people can join with me in knowing what this feels like, particularly if you choose not to overspend every Christmas, yet some of you right now are probably thinking about commenting that Christmas isn't about presents, remember the reason for the season, yadda yadda yadda. Yes, I know. But society has made it about other things. Family. Gifts. Lights. Parties. Etc. Things that cost money and sadly cause stress. And THAT I do not like.  

Worth the Wait...

Tonight was our exhibit. Our sophomore students presented a progressive art exhibit with their visual arguments.

This is a project that started 3 years ago when I saw another teacher's work at the Partnership for Global Learning conference. I agreed to pilot the unit the following year- taking her unit and adapting it for my standards and my students. It has grown each year. This year, I really felt the students needed an outlet to display this art, so the exhibit was born.

We also decided to let them vote on the topic this year... and they chose sex... which was awkward, awkward, awkward. I never imagined myself spending so much time talking about this topic in English class.

But there it was, and there I was, and there they were... and well... yeah.

It came out well though. Ultimately, the students learned a lot, and not just about sex, hahaha. There were some beautiful moments tonight. They were actually using the language of our unit, and it was beautiful to hear. I felt like I was successful. Like when one group asked their audience, "So what do you think of our montage and our claim?" and Cristina answered, "I loved how you juxtaposed the music with the pictures perfectly, especially at the end." (Yes, she actually used the word juxtaposed). Perhaps even better was when Carolina pointed out that Tony and Saul's "claim had a great structure, especially how it came around the show that the guy ended up sad again in the end," and then Saul came back with, "Well, we just wanted to show that being pro.. promiscuous.. (looks at me to confirm his pronunciation) is not beneficial in the long run." I was so pleased. I had used that word to clarify their claim when they first presented it to me, and when I realized they didn't know what it meant, I asked them to look it up and then discussed it with them afterwards. Clearly... they learned it.

Despite the very long day it was for us all, it was worth it. Two food trucks came, The Surfer Taco and The Chunky Chiller, and the "gourmet food" atmosphere really made it feel like a special event for the students. While waiting for my chocolate muffin and ice cream dessert from The Chunky Chiller, a student said to me, "It went so well! As we were explaining our views on the way media portrays women as objects, so many of the parents were nodding their heads and agreeing."

It was truly an awesome event.
Here is a taste.

The solidarity of teaching...

I am not a very good friend. I recognize this. I do not like this. I wish I could change this. But it is so hard...

Would you believe that teaching is a really lonely profession? I have been more and more reminded of this lately. It sounds strange, since I am surrounded by people all day long, but it gets very lonely. So much of what I do is by myself, and it consumes all of my time and energy. I sit up here on my couch until the wee hours writing lesson plans and exams and what not, and it is by myself, after the family has gone to bed. I feel like I am always racing with the clock, the calendar, etc., and there is never enough time in the day, week, or month.

Working in my classroom with my students is my passion, and there are such great moments. Today, something so beautiful happened. Today, I refused to answer any questions or assist with discussion, but merely guided students through a reading analysis chart (which they had prior practice using)... and an amazing phenomenon, which I almost did not think possible, occurred. At the beginning of class, I asked them to journal their responses to two Blake poems they read for hw. The majority of them said something along the lines of "It is about child labor, and it is sad, but other than that, I don't get it." But by the end of class, they were explaining the poem to each other, summarizing the story and asking good questions. One student asked, "Why are all the poems about God?" Another student answered, "Because they [the people in England in the 1800s] were mostly Christians." Then another girl said, "But I wondered that, so I just looked it up, and it said that William Blake only went to church like three times in his whole life." Another student answered, "Well, maybe THIS [pointing to the poems] is why he only went to church three times. How could he believe in a God that would let this happen to innocent kids?"   Wow... I thought. Wow...

This may not seem like such an amazing conversation to you, but what I see from this, is that my students learned how to learn this week. They learned how to get through a difficult text, and not only comprehend, but actually analyze, using their heads, each other, and their resources (including their cell phones, which many of them used to Google words or phrases while they read... I love teaching in this day and age). Ah... I live for these moments. 

Meanwhile, I live in relative solidarity. I have my English department friends. We plan together as much as we physically can, but there is so much to do that there is so rarely time to just shoot the breeze. I spent a good 10-15 minutes just chatting about life stuff with friends at work today and it felt SO good. My job is so stressful that it feels like every conversation is about something that needs to be done, and so little life discussion happens. This can make for a very lonely life.

I try really hard to have and sustain friendships, but when I have so little time to put into my friendships, it is hard to build and maintain the close friendships like they do. Don't get me wrong... I am grateful for the friends I have and happy for all of them. And I blame no one but myself. 

I just wish teaching allowed me more time for deeper relationships with my friends. Teaching can be very satisfying... but sometimes I think doing it well makes me very lonely. 

No more quarters

Vinny's television watching is monitored by money now. It helps us ensure he doesn't spend his entire life watching tv. He gets 10 quarters a week. A quarter buys him 30 minutes, so this ensures he doesn't watch more than 5 hours a week. The quarters do NOT roll over, but if he has extra at the end of the week, he gets to put them in his piggy bank to save towards buying toys or other things he wants. The hope is that he will learn that time is money. Believe it or not, he appreciates the structure. He actually told me, "Mom, Ben [friend at school] doesn't have quarters and he watches tv all day. He's going to be dumb. But not me, 'cause I have quarters."  Okay... my bad, probably shouldn't have overemphasized that watching too much tv will make you dumb, but hey... at least the point was made. 

Anyhow... so this week, he ran out of quarters. This is the first time he has run out of quarters. He is usually pretty good at making them stretch, but this week he overspent. So this morning, he comes in and says to me, "Mommy, did you know that Jack in the Beanstalk is On Demand?"  

"Yes," I reply, "Do you have any quarters?"

"No, but I'm not gonna watch it," he replies, "I just thought you might want to watch it."

"Oh, well thank you," I laugh. 

"You don't want to watch it? I'm not gonna watch it," he insists, "I'm just gonna be in here playing with Tiana. You'll really like it. It's on demand." 

Hahaha.  That's my clever kid. Figures if he can't watch tv, he will just try to find a loophole. He is SO going to grow up to be a politician.

Thoughts on Banking

I've had a very frustrating week with banks that has made me actually consider the "move your money" movement. When I first saw it, I rolled my eyes and thought, "as if." Although I do, in some ways, agree with those who blame the economic downturn partially on banks, I also think people need to look at how complex the situation really is and what a huge part of society banks are. Everyone can't just pull all of their money out of major banks and expect it to be okay. While it may be an overly simplistic metaphor, I just keep thinking of that scene in "It's a Wonderful Life," where they all rush for their money and George Bailey has to beg them all to reconsider and realize that their money is in each other's houses and that's just how it works.

If we want to fix the economic crisis, we need to focus on lasting reforms that prevent banks and other companies from taking advantage of stupid people who overspend without thinking. And realistically, we need to make it a priority to raise up a generation of children who don't expect instant gratification without thinking of the consequences. But I digress...

I cannot wholeheartedly get behind the "move your money" movement, because even if it did get large enough to make a difference, I don't believe this difference would be positive. Do we want big banks to hurt? PEOPLE work at big banks. And 99% of those people are not "big bankers," if you know what I mean. My best friend works for a big bank. Three of my family members work for big banks. If the big banks hurt, the people at the top will not hurt. They will lay off the people at the bottom, making people like my family members hurt.

In addition, my mortgage is with Bank of America. I have no control over who my mortgage is with. If you know anything about home loans, you know that even if you refinance, your loan gets sold, and you usually end up with one of the big banks servicing it. If Bank of America has to lay off employees, they will lay off employees in every area, including mortgage. Do I want customer service to suck more? Do I want to force them to export more jobs, so that I have to deal with someone on the other side of the world every time I need to have my escrow account analyzed over the phone? No... frankly, I do not. Big banks may be making some sucky decisions, but convincing the world to move their money is not the solution.

That said... I am angry nonetheless. I feel like banks did nothing but make my life difficult this week. On Tuesday, Chase refused to cash a check for a drama thing. It was over such a tiny stupid technicality too. They insist that I deposit it and then they will "release" the funds at midnight. What is the point? They will not have the funds from the other bank by then. Do you just want to keep making me come in? I am not available during business hours every day. And it is not my money- it is school money- so I didn't want it in my account. The bank manager would not budge.

For this reason, I usually cash school checks at the bank that the checks are written on, even if it means visiting several banks. Well, one of my major sources of fundraising writes their checks from Bank of the West. In the past few months, Bank of the West has started charging a $5 fee to cash checks. This is ridiculous. Even Wells Fargo hasn't stooped so low... yet. To try to avoid the $5 fee and an extra stop, I attempted to cash the check at my own bank, only to run into this stupid "must deposit" bull. It makes me so angry. I don't have all the time in the world to spend doing school banking, so I decided to just deal with the fees and attempted to just cash it at a check cashing place next to Chase, since there is no Bank of the West here in town. The check cashing place couldn't cash it, since Bank of the West now refuses to verify funds (so you have to go in there, so they get to charge you their $5 fee I am sure). The check is actually still in my wallet.

In addition, the very simple online banking payment I am trying to reverse is turning into a ridiculously complicated issue too. I made a payment to Tiana's day care. They sent the day care a check. I pulled Tiana out of day care, so they gave me the check. I went to the bank to just get the cash for it instead (since it is ALREADY out of my account- has been for weeks; that is they way online bill pay works), but they are making me do a stop payment and deposit the money in my account. Sigh. I did this on Tuesday, and because of the holiday today, the money is still not in my account and probably won't be until Monday. That's almost an entire week. This is ridiculous. I am starting to feel like they do this stuff on purpose.

I used to get free checks and free cashier checks for the $20 a year we paid for our "premium" account. Now I don't get either of these things for free. When I tried to cancel the "premium" fee for our account, I was told I cannot do so without closing my account. Geez.

I don't want to abandon big banks. I don't think it is the answer. But man... these stupid policies sure are starting to tick me off.

Super Star

So, Vinny is the "super star" at school next week. He is VERY excited about this. He gets to bring a picture of our family on Monday, an object that starts with the letter of the week on Tuesday, his favorite toy for share time on Wednesday, his favorite story to read to the class on Thursday, and a small trinket for each student on Friday.


He is completely set on brining his SnowWhite book on Thursday. Vinny has always loved loved loved Snow White. He got a Snow White doll for Christmas one year (much to the chagrin of my father) and he loved it so much. This is not a girlie princess obsession though. He doesn't want to BE Snow White. He wants to marry her. He tucked the doll into bed with him and kissed her good night.

When he was two, we waited in line for almost an hour for him to meet Snow White at Disneyland. The pictures were priceless. It was like watching a teenage boy with his first crush. She kissed his cheek and he just about melted. He showed everyone he met that day his kiss. 

I am hoping that revealing his princess obsession to his classmates does not cause him any problems, but I appreciate that my 5-year-old boy is proud to be himself, and I have to believe that his confidence and self-esteem will continue to magnetically attract friends as it always has. 

In also preparing for this super star week, I set out last night to find the family picture we took at the luau in Hawaii, since it is the most recent picture of all of us together. It had gotten buried in a pile of Vinny's school work somehow, and it took me almost 45 minutes to find it. Our house is crazy clean right now (because my mom is a super human- my house is never this clean when I am home with the kids), so I couldn't figure out how it could have gone missing. In searching for it, I did, however, find my work keys. I had been looking for them ever since we got back from Hawaii, and on my wild hunt for the picture, I found them on top of the fridge. What the heck... how did they get there?  At least I found them.   :-) 

PROUD

Last semester, for various reasons, mostly students not following through with their responsibilities, the show we had planned for drama fell apart. In light of the Broadway trip we were planning and many of my drama students graduating, it was a hard blow to take.

Drama this year had almost 50 students. Less than 20 of those were returning drama students. I was worried about being able to produce a quality show. In so many ways, it has felt like starting from square one. Without Brenda to run the business end, without Steven to just rely on for tech, without John to count on to rally and inspire the actors, I felt sort of alone

But boy did they pull it off. Although the veterans were few, they were strong. Samantha became my new right hand woman. She was usually one step ahead of me. Not having Steven forced me to actually learn the logistics of how tech actually works and gain some confidence in the booth. My new sophomore techies stepped it up and demonstrated some pretty awesome professionalism. Luis lead the "let's give it our best" rally by constantly overacting, forcing everyone to just try to match his energy. Despite some bumps in the road, the final product was amazing.

I love these kids.    <3

It's gonna be another tearful graduation come June.

Ch ch ch ch changes...

Chaotic week, but good things happening, and at just the right time. 

This has been a terribly chaotic week for me. Being a teacher, I have some points where life is really calm, some where it is middle of the road, and some where I drown in responsibilities and tasks. The past two weeks have been a period of drowning, but particularly this week. 

On top of it being Halloween, we are in the final tech week of my drama students' show, my English students are in the final week of their biggest project of the year, and I had probably the heaviest load of work for my Master's program so far. Most weeks have been relatively manageable, but this week was intense. Tons of reading and two papers due in one class, presentation due in another class. Yet, I have a pervading sense of peace and calm that is rare in my life, even when it is not quite so chaotic. 

Why?  Mom. 

Having my mom here is amazing. In a week like this, I am normally scrambling to pick up the kids on time or make arrangements for someone else to. I am normally pretending my house is not a disaster and promising myself to clean it over the weekend. I am normally hunting through laundry baskets for things to wear.  Not any more. 

Mom is here in the morning. Tiana is usually still sleeping in the morning when I leave. Mom does Vinny's homework with him. Mom does my laundry and puts it away. Mom cleans my house. She even scrubbed the fronts of my cabinets and fridge. While I am at work, Mom texts me pictures of Vinny playing in the leaves outside. Mom wraps the present for the birthday party Vinny is attending on Sunday. Mom made dinner so it was ready when we got home last night, and Mom cooked dinner for my family tonight while I was at school until 10. Mom is clearly an angel sent from heaven to keep me from losing my sanity. 

There is another new change happening as well. We have a new church home. 

We have kept very quiet about this for necessary reasons, but over the past few months (since July), Marc has been interviewing at a Lutheran church here in town. It is for a youth pastor position, which is Marc's passion and gift. It will be so nice for Marc to feel like he is in his element again, but I too am excited to have a church family again. 

It is hard to feel like you are part of a family at a large church. Even if you feel like you are comfortable there and like you belong there, it doesn't feel like a family in the way a smaller church does. This isn't a tiny church, but it is small enough and definitely has that family feeling. I especially knew it was a fit because of Vinny. You can tell a lot about people by the type of children they raise. The first time Vinny went to Sunday school, he had a good time. The second time, when he walked in to Sunday school, all the kids cheered, "Vinny!" When they escorted the children back to us at service for the ending, he did the robot down the aisle to where Marc and I were sitting. No... I am not kidding. The next week, when we were not going to that church, Vinny said, "The kids at Sunday school are going to miss me. They'll say, 'Where's Vinny?'"  The fact that my son felt he was wanted and was going to be missed solidified my decision about this church.   :-)

Although this means our family jumping back into full-time ministry and all of the hours and interesting things that come with it, at this time in my life, I very much welcome it.  With Marc's current job, he has little flexibility with his hours and from April to August often works 55-60 hours a week. This creates a lot of stress for us, so a more flexible schedule is going to be nice.  It is also going to be nice that Marc will get to put in the hours he longs to put into ministry and it not be in addition to another full-time job. Yea!

Budgetting Makes Me Cringe

I am very excited about many transitions occurring in our life right now, the first of which starts tomorrow- my mom becoming our nanny.

In trying to redo our budget to make everything fit and pay off our debt from Hawaii, I decided to really budget every penny, based on our previous spending and annual expenses. We heard this message from Mike Yearly at Rocky Peak a few weeks back and he had talked about financial security, which we have been working very hard to attain, and he pointed out something interesting- you should always have some savings (duh), if not for emergencies, at least for annual expenses. I know that sounds really obvious, but there was something about it that I guess just wasn't clicking for me. He made the point that people sometimes have a bad month that sets them back or knocks them on their feet and they make comments like, "Had some unexpected expenses this month- the car needed new tires" or "my registration was due."  This should not be a surprise to us. Cars do need new brakes and tires regularly. This is not technically an "unexpected" expense. Registration is due annually. It is even less of a surprise. This should have been so "duh," to me, but I guess I am just bad with math or not a good logical thinker, because we have never budget for these things, and our budget is tight. I am going to try to budget for Christmas too. December always sucks so much, and it wouldn't be so hard if we planned all year for it. 

I love that mint.com gives me the ability to see averages and spending trends on things like auto, food, etc., so I can plan well for all this and really budget. I hate that plugging it all made me see why we have such a difficult time any time things like auto repairs or stuff comes up. We spend too much. Gas is expensive. We spend an average of $315 a month. Wow... And we spend, way, way too much on food. I am too embarrassed to even say how much. I feel like we try to be budget conscious about it, but we are going to have to cut it down by A LOT. Ugh....  I do not have time to be an extreme couponer. 

Time to cut things down.... It's just gonna take spending less. Sigh. 

What a concept.

Show Business Meets School Business

So today, there was a PSA being filmed at my school. It was about bullying, I think, and I am fairly certain it is going to be nationally televised. It was a professional production crew, with all the bells and whistles. My boss introduced me to the director a little over a week ago, as they wanted to know if some of my students could be in the PSA. I was excited to give them the opportunity, so I of course said yes, and asked how many they wanted. They asked how many I had. I told them that if I just went with second year drama students, who I trust and for sure know what they are doing, then there would be about 15. She said that was fine.

Although I did work as a background actor for one year in college, I guess I have forgotten what the world of show business is like, with vague information, lots of people, and long hours... because we somehow had some communication issues. The director gave me a couple of shooting locations and times, making it seem like she would be using my students for a couple of short scenes, but then she called me before I even left the house this morning to see where my students were. Uh... at home? I told her that school starts at 7:45, but that I would page them all to come to me as soon as possible. Once I got my students together, it turned out she needed more. I ended up very quickly rallying 10 of my new drama kids that I trust to join in. It was chaotic, and I felt really bad for asking their teachers to let them go on such short notice, but ultimately, I am glad I did. 

The students got to be involved for the entire day. They received a ton of compliments. The production crew was impressed with their professionalism and acting abilities. The director apparently liked them so much, she included them in pretty much every scene. In fact, she liked them so much, she begged to keep them all day until 5pm, even though I had asked her to send back my main cast members for our 6th period drama rehearsal at 2:30.  (I ended up asking for my 4 leads to come back, but letting the other students stay). 

Overall, the students really loved the experience. I think they especially enjoyed craft services and getting to eat catering with the cast and crew for lunch. Several of them were featured in scenes. I heard some great comments like, "You should have seen when they told Christian to look at the 'dirty email' sent to him and look shocked. What a face! He's gonna be famous." They take direction well, although I bet they needed a little reeling in, since we have been focusing on children's theater, which is a lot of intentional overacting. The ones who came back for rehearsal tried telling me their underwhelming rehearsal today was a result of being in "film mode."  (Imagine me rolling my eyes). 

I can't wait to see my kids on tv.  :-)

I am tired. I have been a single mom of sorts this week, since Marc is at a conference for work. I haven't gotten any of the errands I needed to run done since he has been gone, because I just haven't had the energy to do more than be here with the kids, but it has been good.

There has been great bonding between Vinny and I.  Tiana went to bed early both last night and tonight. Tonight, Vinny stayed up after she went to bed and we did homework. He has just discovered the wonder that is hot cocoa, so he sipped hot cocoa while he played his "alphabet game" that the teacher assigned him. We shopped online for presents for the birthday parties Vinny has been invited to over the next two weeks (oh my... this could get expensive, hence the online shopping). It was funny, when I opened the invite today and I asked Vinny who the kid was that sent the invitation to this birthday party next week, he told me, "He eats sandwiches at lunch and chews with his mouth open and talks and its disgusting and I throw up- not really, but I want to- but he is nice." Oh my. I nearly died laughing. He is so incredibly obssessive-compulsive for a 5-year-old. Well, he always has been. He hated having sandy hands when he was a baby, so he never left the towel at the beach until he was more than two-years-old. If his hands are dirty, he kind of panics. He eats sloppy joes with a spoon because he hates the the "sloppy" part. Yup... that's my kid alright.

Last night, Vinny went to bed early and my friend Barb came over for a paper grading party. I love paper grading parties with Barb. They are not incredibly effective for quantity of papers graded, but they are amazingly effective for quality of thought. As we think aloud, muse aloud, complain aloud, problem-solve aloud, I think I learn more as a teacher than I do in some other very expensive professional development experiences. :-)

The BEST news of this week is that my mom quit her job!!! Hip hip hooray!  Why is this such good news?  Well... for several reasons. My mom is one of my best friends. I talk to her every day. She is the first person I want to tell when I get exciting news or when my kids do something cute. She is my shoulder to cry on, and in many ways I am hers. We talk every day on our way home from work. And pretty much every day for about the last two years (maybe three or four even), I have listened to my mom lament her hatred for her job. She loves her co-workers, but she works in print advertising which has been on the decline every year since the invent of the internet, so it is tough business and she hates it. She has worked very hard without more than 10 days off in a row for more than 17 years, and she is just done. She was such a dedicated employee too. When I worked with her in 2006, she won "Employee of the Year" at the annual department banquet, and she totally deserved it. It was so exciting to applaud her and watch her get terribly embarrassed as she took the award. But the poor thing is just burnt out. She has had a really tough life, and she deserves a break. I have been begging her to quit for a long time because it is just so sad to see her unhappy, but an ideal job has just not come up and she hasn't financially been ready to just quit.

Until now. A variety of circumstances have made it financially possible for her to quit now, and she decided that she wants to quit her job... to BE OUR NANNY!!!!  Yea!!!!  This is like my dream come true.

Like a week ago, as I was returning from vacation, I was thinking to myself, "My everyday life is so hard. I wish I had a nanny." Now, to be fair, my life in general is a cycle of work hard, play hard, work harder, play harder. And when I do have time to play, I get to play really hard. As my best friend Mo pointed out, I have a lot of fun. It is true.

But the trade-off is a really hard life on a day-to-day basis. Getting up early enough to do everything I have to do is really hard. Packing perfect meals for picky Tiana for day care and making sure she has fresh linens and diapers and supplies for school, putting out the diapers for the service weekly, keeping the house tidy, doing Vinny's homework, cooking meals, getting all of my work for work done (which is really like a 12-hour-a-day job), getting all of my work for school done, and just taking care of all the little errands and tasks for soccer practices and birthday parties, etc. It wears me out.

I am so excited to have my mom. It is hard for anyone who has not been through it to really understand the difference between having my kids in day care and having them at home with my mom, but there is a huge difference. It takes such a weight off my shoulders. Sigh..

Now, to bed. Hopefully I have heated the house up tonight that Tiana won't wake up freezing 3 or 4 times again tonight.  :-/

So, I pretty much came home to a nervous breakdown...

Coming home from vacation sucks. Really sucks.  I basically came home and completely lost my mind because my life really does not allow for me to take vacations without totally paying for it (pun intended).

 Sunday, I tried to get done far more than was realistic. I wrote a lesson plan for Monday and tried to get mentally prepared for a week at school, but I also felt I could not be mentally ready unless we unpacked and did some laundry and went to the store to get groceries for the week, which took some planning, since I knew I pretty much would not have time to cook dinner all week and needed to get easy things. The house did not end up getting as in order as I would have liked it, which might explain why I could not find my school keys on Monday morning, despite tearing the house apart for like half an hour.

And then there were all the papers. Grades were due Monday night. I had planned to grade papers on vacation, but with homeschooling Vinny and doing my college homework, I never got to it. I got as many papers as I could done Sunday, but I still was frantically grading papers until minutes before the deadline on Monday. Talk about stressful. I have never been that close to that deadline before. I was literally trembling with anxiety and nearly broke down in tears and just completely lost it at around 8pm.

Tuesday, I tried to catch up with work for this week and my college homework. I feel like I barely made a dent in it, and I was up until like 1a.m. Why then, did I go to class last night looking like a totally irresponsible jackass? Because I lost the book I was supposed to read. I realized I did not have it when I went to bring it on the trip to read. I assumed I would find it at school when I got home. Well, I looked all over my classroom on Monday and Tuesday and couldn't find it. I tried emailing a friend from class, but she lives too far away for me to get it from her in time. What the heck could have happened to it?  I gave up, admitted to my professor that I had lost it and so had not done the reading, which meant I basically could not participate in discussions in class yesterday. Whatever, I was too tired anyway. We had conferences until 6pm on Wednesday and Thursday, and these completely wore me out. By the time I got out of school last night, I was completely spent and just went to bed.

Today, I felt terrible that Vinny had to miss his soccer practice because my inlaws are out of town and they normally take him, and I had drama afterschool and Marc was working a carnival. He didn't go to practice last week either because of our trip, and the week before it was cancelled, so it really sucks that he missed. Oh well, there is only so much we can do.

While the drama kids were painting the sets today, I cleaned out my desk. I genuinely need to become more organized. I am making progress this year, but I need to somehow get it together and stick with it. It is just not in my personality, and it is really hard for me. I did, however, find my book, which I realized I had put in a "safe" spot on my bookshelf. Darn it. I just ordered a new one last night too. I guess I'll just return it.

Sadly, I STILL haven't found my keys.

At least I don't have a lot planned this weekend, so I can hopefully try to pull my life back together.

Day 6: A Pristine Beach and an Active Volcano (and a little about the trip home)

Wow.      Wow.        Wow.

T is for turtle. I like unschooling (as long as it isn't all the time!

In the center, that is a mountain goat.

Makalawena Beach (a.k.a Paradise)

Wow.... Those were Tiana's words upon our arrival at Makalawena Beach. I swear she said "Wow" a good 17 times. It was not a surprising reaction, since I actually gasped upon reaching the top of the sand dunes to view this piece of paradise. I could hardly believe it was real... but it was.

A shout out to Colleen for telling us about this amazing beach. It was truly our personal piece of paradise. While there were a few other people there, they were so spread out it really felt like our personal paradise. The sand was so soft that Tiana didn't think it was sand (and she had been playing with sand all week), since it felt more like oatmeal, and she tried to eat it. Had the wind not kicked up after a while, I could have stayed here all day.

We made it through the lava field to the most beautiful beach ever.

You know how they say "it's not about the destination, it is about the journey?"  Well, in this case... that is only half true. The journey was out of this world, but it was certainly about the destination. To reach this tiny piece of paradise, you have to hike through about a mile or so of lava fields. It is like lava rock as far as the eye can see, and it totally feels like you are on Mars or something, except for the fact that there are herds for, ready for this, mountain goats, trotting along beside you. I wish I had been smart enough to wear the hiking shoes for this. The flips flops made for some sore feet, but we made it anyway.

In the lava tube.

Ah... it was worth it. Maybe my favorite part of the trip, but hard to say at this point.

After this adventure, we set out for the 100 mile drive to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. This was amazing. The park has 11 of the 13 climate zones found on earth. Yup. We must have driven through like 10 of them. I don't know if it was the volcanic gas or the plants or just the multiple climates, but my sinuses still have not forgiven me. Oh well. It was worth it. We saw rain forests and giant lava craters and hiked through a lava tube. We even saw the active eruption of Mt. Kilauea. Oh my gosh. Amazing. Breathtaking.

Yes, that is lava. 

The day was so exhausting, I didn't blog that night. I slept.

Our family, outside the lava tube.

The next morning we packed, got breakfast on the beach, visited a real Kona coffee farm, and then set off on a terribly long day of travel. And now... we are home. Sigh.

I can't believe I have to teach tomorrow.

Day 5: Planes and Pig

As I write this blog from our 300 (or so) square foot hotel room, I realize how terribly spoiled we were with the beautiful two-bedroom condo this week. We spent a lazy morning at the condo today before boarding a plane to Kona on the Big Island (caps? no caps?) for the final leg of our vacation journey at King Kamehameha's Kona Beach Hotel. Frankly, vacationing in general may never be the same; I think once you go condo-rental, you can never go back to plain old hotel rooms.

Truth be told, it is a decent hotel, but I know that tomorrow morning I am going to miss lounging in the living room, sipping coffee, while Tiana drinks a bottle on the sofa, and Vinny watches tv in his bedroom.
It was a nice calm morning, even as we packed to leave. Oh condo. I miss you.

However... we booked this hotel mainly because it has a little beach, which Vinny did enjoy this afternoon, and because hotels do have their benefits- like resort-style pools open late at night, which Vinny and Marc are currently enjoying. We also booked this hotel because the most highly recommended luau in Kona is here, and it was an awesome luau. After several mai tais, it was nice to just take an elevator back to the room, and it was very nice that sleeping Tiana did not need to be transferred to the car, and is still happily asleep as I write this. At some point, I will probably transfer her to the pack-n-play... probably.

The Luau included a "Royal Court" ceremony. 

I liked the luau- the dancing was awesome- but Vinny loved the luau. He was very excited about it to begin with. Last week, when the new neighbors across the street were moving in at night, Vinny shouted out the window to them, "I get to see guys take pig out of the ground next week!"  Hahahaha. And boy did he ever. We sort of accidentally got a super close view of the pig removal ceremony. (Natalie, I apologize for the following pictures- look away).

Several times during the luau, Vinny jumped out of his seat to dance. I think we should enroll this kid in Polynesian dance lessons. It was a hoot. He is definitely Marc's son when it comes to food; he excitedly tries all the exotic meats like alligator at the Cajun festival and Kalua pork at the luau. He is such a nut. He refused to eat his pasta last night because it was whole grain (not white), but today he begged for "pig" (and pretty much ate a whole plate full). Whatever. I am glad he enjoyed it. 

 Tiana was a bit difficult (until she fell asleep). With the flight this afternoon, I guess she didn't get enough time or space to just run around and enjoy herself. She was sick of being strapped into places and didn't want to stay in her high chair. So I gave up and let her sit and play with the lava rocks. 

I don't really have too much else to say today. The luau was fun. I am tired. Tomorrow we set out on an adventure around Hawaii. First, we are going to try to get to the remote Makalawena Beach, and then we will head out to the volcano park. I was really bummed that we couldn't afford the boat tour... 'til I realized that there is no lava flowing into the ocean right now. In fact, the only real "view" of lava that we will get to have is a glow from the crater that is best viewed at night, so we are going to head out there a bit later in the day with hopes of staying until nightfall to see the lava. At least Vinny is more excited about hiking the lava tube than about the lava. I am certain we can do that. Well, if I can recover. My legs still hurt from Tuesday. I gotta hike more often.

Day 4: South Maui Beaches

Today was a day of beaches. Vinny and I have opposite raccoon tans- since I wear my sunglasses constantly I have the rings of white around my eyes, while Vinny has rings of red, since he will never let me get the sunscreen close enough to his eyes to keep that part from getting burned. I blame my mom. She got sunscreen in his eyes once when he was little, and ever since he's been paranoid of having sunscreen near his eyes. Haha. 

Tiana is slowly adjusting to Hawaiian time. Today she let us sleep until 5:45a.m. Actually, I was too tired to wake up at all, so Marc got up with her (isn't that sweet), but because he is addicted to swimming, he made me get up at 6:15a.m. so he could go practice (not so sweet). Oh well. I enjoyed my coffee, did some homework, did more schoolwork with Vinny, and caught up on everyone else's lives on Facebook.

Once Marc got back, we set out for a day of exploring South Maui's beaches, since we had already seen West Maui. Well, Marc swam in South Maui on Sunday morning, but we hadn't really done the beach yet. First, we spent several hours at Kamaole I. Beautiful beach. Since I had heard a lot about how popular this beach is, and since it seemed to be right in the middle of town, I expected it to be crowded, but this must be the beauty of coming in October, because there were very few people on the beach. Vinny pretty much never left the water. He does his own version of body surfing that pretty much involves intentionally letting the wave knock him over and then letting it wash him on to the shore. He ends up soaking wet and with enough sand in his pants to build a sandcastle, but he loves it. 

Vinny took this picture.  <3 my baby boy.

Next, we hit 808 Deli for some yummy sandwiches, which we ate at Big Beach, which ended up being Marc's favorite beach of all. The water at this beach is jewel-like, very much like Southern Florida. I was not as in love with it as I expected to be, but only because it was a little bit crowded and the surf was kind of strong today. I went in and pretty much got my a$$ handed to me by the first wave I jumped into, so I was super nervous about watching Vinny at that beach. Hence... I was more concerned with him not drowning than with taking pictures.  :/

Finally, after a brief McDonald's run to get Tiana the "meh" (her word for milk) she had been begging for and a shopping break, we headed back out to the beach.

This time, Wailea Beach. I fell instantly in love with this beach and wished so, so badly that we had found this beach on Day 1. I wish we could have spent more time here. It is a smaller stretch of beach in front of the fancy Grand Wailea, which is a Waldorf Astoria hotel. I can hardly imagine paying the $350-$600 a night to stay in a basic room here, but man... you should have seen this place. Here is a picture from their website of their "activity pool," which we could see, because it is RIGHT on the beach.

Anyhow, while the resort pools and stuff are obviously just for the guests, the beach is public (as are all Maui beaches)... and amazing. The water is crystal blue and probably the warmest I have experienced so far on the island. We were there in the late afternoon, so the breezes were starting to come in, and it was honestly warmest in the water. The sand is perfectly soft as far into the ocean as I could walk, and sloped at the perfect angle. There were constant waves, enough to play in, but they were the gentlest waves ever. Even Tiana wasn't afraid of them and spent a lot of time joyfully playing in the water. 

After that, she tried to escape. Either the Outrigger canoes or the pool must have looked inviting, but boy does she make good time. We've taken to calling her our little sand crab because she is perpetually covered in sand, no matter what we do.