The Author

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I am a high school English teacher, and mother of two charming little ones of my own. I teach in a high poverty urban charter school, while I live in a typical American suburb that has frequently been rated one of the safest cities in the country. It is a paradox I struggle with constantly, but it is my life.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

So close I can taste it

Summer is so close I can taste it. I've been so busy with the variety of responsibilities on my plate and particularly overwhelmed with drama that I  haven't even been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I can, but the light at the end of the tunnel might look like an oncoming train right about now.

I've put a lot of stuff off because of the play. This always happens during productions. I always feel both relieved and overwhelmed when it is done. Now that the show is over, I have just 5 days to survive, 500 papers to grade, and a mile-long checklist to sign off before my 5-week sabbath.  Sigh. Gonna be another stressful week.

My goal this summer is to take care of myself and my friendships. I need to work out and eat right this summer. My body is begging me to. As I've been focusing on positivity and happiness this year through The Happiness Advantage, I have found that my perspective on people has widened a lot too. I am realizing I've been rather narrow in my friendships in the past, overlooking people whose company I really enjoy.

The musical director Jasmin and I carpooled to and from the impromptu cast party yesterday, and when we got back to school, we weren't done talking and sat there in the car talking for quite a while. I miss having friendships like this, and I really enjoy Jasmin's company. We have so much in common, which is one of the first things I remember realizing about her as I got to know here during Beauty and the Beast two years ago. When I walked into her room and realized we had both purchased the same exact $4 purple stool from Walmart, I laughed. In China, we had a great time climbing the Great Wall together and searching for a warm spot to have coffee. We discovered a family of kitties living behind a store and took tons of pictures. I want to make sure I nurture friendships like this.

I also really miss my mom friends. I have a group of mom friends whom I have really love, but feel so distant from during the year.  This is just a reality of my incredibly busy life. Many of them are stay-at-home moms, and a lot of them only have one young child, which is a little bit different from having an elementary age kid with busy activities all the time. My life keeps me monumentally busier than theirs, so they all get to hang out together a lot. I do get to go out with them at night sometimes, which I really try to always make sure to make time for, because I do want to grow these friendships. I don't mean to sound jealous, because I am not. I chose my life, and I love my life, and I also know that being a stay-at-home mom can be a terribly lonely thing. It is practically insanity inducing to talk to no one over the age of 5 all day every day. I am so glad these women have each other, because they are awesome women. But I crave the beauty of my time off when I can hang out with them.

And it is so close. So close I can see it now. I can smell chlorine pool play dates. I can taste an ice cold happy hour drink with friends. I can feel the warm sun of sitting at the beach with my mom.  It is so, so, close.

Just 500 papers to go.

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