The Author

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I am a high school English teacher, and mother of two charming little ones of my own. I teach in a high poverty urban charter school, while I live in a typical American suburb that has frequently been rated one of the safest cities in the country. It is a paradox I struggle with constantly, but it is my life.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Decompressing after a long day

Have you ever had a day that got so busy that you realized hours after dinner that you completely forgot to eat it? A friend (Thank you Yolanda) even brought me food that looked so good I was so excited to put in the fridge to heat up for dinner when I got a chance to eat, but I remembered at like 8:30, while driving home from school, when I noticed that my stomach felt funny and then I realized I had completely forgotten to eat it. Oh well. At least I ate a big lunch. At least I can look forward to heating it up for lunch tomorrow.

I ran around like a crazy person today. Picking up the benchmark exam, giving the benchmark exam, preparing for my review with my administrator (put together like a 50 page packet for her!), rushing to Frends Beauty Supply to spend way too much money on restocking stage makeup and buying wigs for my students, conference call with English teachers all over the country for Asia Society, getting ready for rehearsal, shopping for more stuff the kids still needed (I was handed a list that included bobby pins, hairspray, a booklight, and a bathrobe, among other things), and then dress rehearsal. By the time I got home, I was just plain exhausted. I hadn't been able to pump as much as I wanted too, and since I have been drinking this "Mother's Milk" tea to increase my production, that became just painful at points. I missed her a lot.

On the plus side, I guess God decided to give me a little gift to make this week easier on me. Tiana finally seems to be on a real schedule. She's been going to bed every night around 10pm, and she was waking up at like 4a.m., but last night she actually slept straight through, in her OWN bed (okay, bassinet, but this is still an improvement for us lately) from like 10:30 to 5:15a.m. I think I call that "sleeping through the night." Praise the Lord, hallelujah!

Actually, God has blessed me in one more way this week. I most certainly could not be getting through this week without my mom. She took the week off to watch Tiana. Knowing my mom is at home with her this week has been such a relief to me, and plus, my super mom doesn't know how to sit still, which works out well for me, because she has cleaned my house and done my laundry. Could I ask for more?

Tomorrow is the show- the real thing. It will be sort of a soft opening. Tickets for Thursday night haven't been selling all that well. I probably should have made it 7pm that night instead of 8pm. Friday is in real danger of selling out though. Almost half the tickets are already gone. People are questioning the logic behind my deciding not to put seats all the way to the very back of the auditorium, but I just wanted the show to have an intimate feel. Its not a big musical- its more of a "black box" theater type show, only in a big auditorium with a proscenium stage. I sort of feel like we shouldn't have people sitting at the very back. It doesn't have the same feel from back there. Well... maybe I will change my mind tomorrow. We'll see. I'm excited. I'm also really tired, but mostly excited.

Last year, in a FB note (cuz it was before I started my blog), I wrote this after my very first show at Vaughn:
"During the curtain call, Stan (my boss) thanked the kids and gave flowers to our lead actress, and then they called me up there to take a bow and get some flowers. I totally wasn't expecting it. It was surreal....
See... I remember doing things like this when I was in high school for our drama teacher, but our school is just different. Tonight shook me. Surreal is the best way to describe it. I was standing there, staring up at these kids who did such a good job and had made me so very proud, and they were looking down at me, clapping for me, and then audience members were thanking me, and I was thinking "for what?" and then realizing how different it feels to be on the other side of this.... It's like living a dream."

As exhausted as I am and as hard as these past two weeks have been, I'm glad I came back to finish this semester. I'm just so lucky. I AM living my dream.

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