The Author

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I am a high school English teacher, and mother of two charming little ones of my own. I teach in a high poverty urban charter school, while I live in a typical American suburb that has frequently been rated one of the safest cities in the country. It is a paradox I struggle with constantly, but it is my life.

Monday, May 2, 2011

This Week...

... is going to be Hell.

I am doubting that I have it in me, really.

Normally when I have a week like this ahead of me, I have this feeling like I am full of adrenaline and just ready to conquer the world. It is like, "Let's do this thing!"

I don't have that feeling right now.

Right now, I feel like I just want to curl up in a little ball and stay in bed all week. I am having the type of week where I wish I was a stay at home mom. It is a stage that will definitely pass... but it is a stage I am in.

I feel like I just don't have the energy to do everything that is required of me right now. My to-do list is like 5 miles long. It is more than I can manage. I am too stressed out to even go through the process of writing it all down. It makes me want to cry. I am normally very good at managing everything, but right now... not so much.

Even the repipe of my house and remodel of my bathroom that I was initially excited about is turning out the be a nightmare. The repiping went okay- all the pipes are in and it is beautiful. The water pressure is great and we are suddenly getting hotter water than we ever did before. However, it took me several tries and almost an hour of studying the manual to figure out how to work my new dishwasher (I am starting to feel like an old lady, like I don't know how to work these new-fangeled contraptions), and it took us a week and help from my father to get the transport bolts out of the new washing machine. In the meantime, dirty dishes and dirty clothes piled to the sky, which never feels good. My garage is a DISASTER because we had to move everything in order for the plumber to get to the pipes. And worst of all... my bathroom is far from done.

We decided to have the plumber just rip out the old bathtub and tile since he would have to do a bunch of damage to the old one to get to the pipes, and it seemed to us better to put in a new bathtub and tile than repair what has probably been here since the house was built in 1963. However, we then bought a new bathtub, but it ended up being a cheap piece of junk when we got it out of the box, so the plumber suggested we go back and get a better one. Marc went back to get a better one (not an easy task when you don't own a truck), but the one he ended up getting is, well, kind of miniature. When I took a bath in it, I felt like a giant. Rather than go unsatisfied for, well, ever... I didn't think it was worth it to keep it, so we are going to go ahead and pay the extra money to have a better one installed. When I search for a better one though, they are all quite a lot of money, way more than I was expecting, which sucks, but if we are going to do this, we just need to do it right. So, my bathroom sits undone. We do not want to contract a mason to repair the dry wall and do the tile until we actually have the new bathtub in, and we cannot find one we like in the stores (I am not being that picky, there just really isn't a very good selection), so we are going to order it online and wait for it to get here.

Now I understand why remodeling one's house becomes such a cause of stress, regardless of money. Ugh...

Something exciting needs to happen to get me going.

And then, there is the "excitement" over Osama's death. While some of my Christian friends have suggested that it may be anti-Christian to celebrate the death of anyone, I would possibly disagree. The Bible is not completely anti-violence. Like the Proverbs say, there is a time to kill.... if ever, this may have been it.

But it causes me great sadness that people are making it political, at best, and hateful, at worst. Some people are actually posting comments hating on Obama for "taking the credit."  He is the President of the United States. It is his responsibility to be commander in chief. Who did you expect to announce the news to the American people?  It is what it is. Just a fact that he is announcing.

And then even sadder... the fact that one of my Muslim co-workers feels anxious about the attitudes she will receive at school today. The vast majority of students normally treat her with great respect, and she is one of the coolest, most beloved teachers at school. But she might be right. For some strange reason, this may ignite that same ignorant, hateful attitude towards Muslims that people had after 9/11. I really don't get why.

I couldn't believe it when the news was interviewing someone, just some random idiot in front of the White House- not anyone of any position or anything, but still, and he was making comments about not caring what Muslim tradition is about burying a body quickly, he thinks we all should have been able to see the body, like they should have paraded it through the streets of America. Oh my gosh. Really? The journalist asked him, "Do you not believe he is dead?" He answered that he did believe he was dead, he just felt like we have a right to see the body. A right?  Are you kidding me? What's the point here? Are we really such animals? Do people really expect the U.S. troops to act like a cat who has caught a mouse, dragging the corpse into the house to proudly show his owner?  Please... we are not animals.

I hope this quickly fades into just another fact.

And I hope something of some excitement can happen in my life soon. I need to cheer up. Well, at least the calendar for next school year should be approved soon and I can start planning our trip to Hawaii for Fall break. Vacations always give me something to look forward to.

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