The Author

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I am a high school English teacher, and mother of two charming little ones of my own. I teach in a high poverty urban charter school, while I live in a typical American suburb that has frequently been rated one of the safest cities in the country. It is a paradox I struggle with constantly, but it is my life.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Out and About

Tiana is one week old today. Happy one week. :-)

I am still hurting and pretty tired, but today I actually put real clothes on, and put real clothes on Tiana, and we actually left the house. We went to the doctor and to lunch with my dad. It wasn't a very long outing, but it felt very, very good.

It is funny... a week ago, while I was sitting around the hospital in early labor, I told my mom that I was still having trouble believing that it was real and conceptualizing actually having a daughter. With Vinny, I was so there mentally weeks before. I could picture him, loved him like he was there, and felt an incredible connection to him before he was even born. With Tiana, I just didn't feel it. Even though everyone says it happens, and I cognitively knew it would happen, I think I was having a hard time really emotionally believing that I could feel the same connection to another little person that I feel to Vinny. Now... a week later, I can't imagine her not being here. She is so amazingly wonderful and I just adore being her mom.

She is so different from Vinny, even already. She just has a way different personality. I know that it seems odd to discuss a newborn as having a personality, but she really does. Just like, for instance, when Vinny would start to cry for something, it was like 0 to meltdown in 2 seconds. When he decided he wanted to eat, he let us know loud and clear that he wanted it immediately. With Tiana, when she gets hungry, she starts to get a little fussy and whimper a little bit, but she doesn't yell and scream until she's clearly let us know for a while that she is hungry. Vinny was so particular too. He wanted only ONE kind of pacifier and spat out everything else. She seems to love that pacifier most too, but she will take other ones. She doesn't seem to be as interested in what is going on around her though. When Vinny was awake, he seemed to really want to be alert and stared at everything. She seems just like... "Mom, hold me. Okay... cool, going back to sleep now."

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