The Author

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I am a high school English teacher, and mother of two charming little ones of my own. I teach in a high poverty urban charter school, while I live in a typical American suburb that has frequently been rated one of the safest cities in the country. It is a paradox I struggle with constantly, but it is my life.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Tiana is here... and I am alive.

So, on Wednesday morning, September 15, per doctor's recommendation, I was induced. I was 39 weeks and 2 days, and she was ready to go. Everyone (doctors and nurses) kept saying that with your second baby things go much faster, and when I was induced with Vinny, he was there by 4:30 in the afternoon. Things didn't go nearly as quickly this time. I had hoped to get through it without an epidural, since it didn't work last time and was a lot of hassle for no relief, but by 4:30, it was really bad, and I was only at 5cm, so I gave in an got the epidural. Oh my, what an amazing thing. Had I known how amazing it was when it actually works, I would have gotten it much sooner. It was amazing how much better I felt. The next couple of hours flew by and then it was definitely time. It only took about 5 minutes of pushing and at 7:04 p.m., out came Tiana Marley Mohr. It was much easier than last time and much calmer. I was so happy. She was perfect. 6lbs even. 19 inches even. :-)

After some clean-up, family came in to visit and Vinny got to meet his new baby sister, which was so precious. You have never seen a little boy more in love with his little sister than Vinny is with Tiana. He is so affectionate; he just wants to hug and kiss her constantly. Finally, grandma and papa took Vinny home to go to bed and get ready for preschool and Daddy hung out with mommy. We ate dinner, watched some tv, and then went to bed, hoping for an uneventful first night.

It didn't exactly turn out that way. In the middle of the night, I had what is apparently known as a postpartum hemorrhage. I will spare you the gory details for the most part. You can click on the link and read about what it is if you are so inclined. Essentially, everyone bleeds some after having a baby, but I basically stood up to go to the bathroom and was gushing blood everywhere. I don't know what caused it- there are several possible causes- it most likely had to do with the placement of the placenta and the fact that it was not coming out, so the doctor had to somewhat forcibly remove it, which then leaves your uterine blood vessels very tender and susceptible to bleeding.

The bleeding started at 2:30a.m. and didn't stop until about 6 a.m. I lost a TON of blood. I have never seen so much blood in my entire life. I couldn't believe I had any blood left in me. My blood pressure dropped to 75/50 at the last time they let me see it. (When I saw that, I kind of panicked a little, so they stopped showing me). I don't even want to tell all the gory details of awful stuff that they did to me, but I was pretty damn miserable. At the worst point, I felt like I was burning up I was so hot, and I was sure I was going to pass out any second. I asked for an ice pack, but they were covering me up with blankets and told me my temperature was down. It didn't make a lot of sense, but I didn't really know what was going on at that point. I just thought I was going to die. They had four different IVs in me with different stuff to help replenish my fluids, bring my blood pressure up, stop the bleeding, etc. I had two blood transfusions. (Karma- this is why, despite my hatred of needles, I have given blood numerous times throughout my adult life. I am certainly grateful for the two donors who saved my life that day.)

Finally, the bleeding stopped and I started to stabilize, but I was pretty much in bed that whole day. They let me feed her and hold her again around noon, but I didn't get to do much baby bonding that day. They let me get up to use the bathroom that evening, but I was really shaky when I stood up, so I pretty much stayed down. Thank God for my amazing family who kept me company, took care of the baby, and tried to keep me from losing it completely.

 Yesterday was much more normal. I spent lots of time bonding with Tiana and Vinny got to spend some time with us.

My red blood cell counts are still below normal, but I have stabilized finally, so they let me come home today, which has been very nice. I am weak, but feeling so much better, and it feels so good to be back at my own house. Overall, Tiana is a perfect baby. She loves to eat and sleep and is very tolerant of her super protective and overly affectionate big brother. She is so easy, and I am so happy, both to be alive and for my wonderfully expanded family. :-)

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